


Meap me in St. Louie

by LooneyMooney



Series: Stories from an Endless Summer (and Beyond) [3]
Category: Phineas and Ferb
Genre: Alien/Human Relationships, F/M, alien love story, alien wars, cannon storyline, comedic writing, evil little girl, mother-in-law, the chronicles of Meap, there's a spouse, when there's a mother in law
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-01
Updated: 2015-07-01
Packaged: 2018-04-07 04:10:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,521
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4248816
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LooneyMooney/pseuds/LooneyMooney
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I came up with this when I was like, 12. Re-posted from Fanfiction.net<br/>Basically, this is how I think the whole "Meap me in St. Louie" thing would turn out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

About a year ago in a studio in California, a group of animators were forced by it's fan base to make an episode based upon a trailer for an episode that they never meant to create. However, at the end of that episode, they created another trailer for an episode that they never meant to create. At that time, a tweenage girl who lived in an undisclosed location to the right of the Mississippi River decided to create a comic based on that trailer. However, the comic was never finished due to a severe case of writer's block after the sixth page of that comic was only half-done. Now that girl is sixteen years old, and began working on a disjointed fan fiction that took place in the same universe. This meant that she could stop halfway through an idea and work on another until she got inspiration for how to continue the first one, which was perfect for her thought process and work ethic. The fan fiction became her most popular story on ffn, and so she decided to treat her small group of followers with her rendition of the unmade episode that she had tried to complete so long ago. I am that girl. So, I present to you the Chronicles of Meap, episode three: Meap me in Saint Louie.

Space. There sure is a lot of it.

We admire the inky blackness of the infinite universe. We stare for so long, it gets boring. You're about to close out of the tab out of sheer boredom, when suddenly two alien spaceships zoom across the screen.

Got your attention now, don't I?

Right, let's get back to the spaceships.

Zoom in to one spaceship - Meap's spaceship - where inside, there are two figures. One is Meap. The other is a strange alien girl of a species we do not recognise. She seems to be made of green slime, with three large eyes - two in the conventional eye places, and one on her forehead - , and a multitude of smaller eyes, splattering across her cheeks and nonexistent nose like freckles. She also had a mouth with two rounded, buck-like teeth. These traits on any other person would create a grotesque image, but on her the look was somehow adorable.

Alright, now that the description's over with, let's get back to the action.

Meal was steering his spaceship in the front seat, a grimly determined expression on his face, translator mustache in place. This one was a new one - brunette and bushy, it gave the wearer a slight British accent. The girl clung to the backseat, terrified, all twenty-seven her eyes wide open in fear.

"Meap! When are they gonna stop chasing us???"

"Don't worry, Kio Gen-Zia - I think I've lost them."

The spaceship jostled, and Kio Gen-Zia threw her slimy arms around the seat in front of her with a small "eep!" . Meap glanced over his shoulder, a sheepish grin in place.

"Correction - I think I've ALMOST lost them." Kio Gen-Zia pouted in an adorable fashion.

"Well, good. I never wanna see those meanies ever again - especially since they interrupted our special weekend!!!" Meap chuckled.

"Innocent as always, Kio my dear. But, sadly, trouble seems to follow me wherever I go."

"But we were on VACATION! Couldn't some other galactic defender have taken care of this one?"

"Usually, yes - but this guy's got it in for me."

"Well, then, he's just a big bully!"

Meap looked as though he were about to make a comment, but just then the spaceship jostled again, and an alarm started. Kio Gen-Zia leaned forwards and squinted at the flashing red alien letters.

"Critical damage… um … Meap, is that a bad thing?"

"Bloody meap, mate!" Kio Gen-Zia sat back in her seat.

"Right, I'm going to assume that means it's bad."

And now the narrator will leave this story for a good long while and leave all of you to wait in suspense while suffering through multiple other chapters that explore other storylines.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meap meets up with the gang

Meap's ship slowly lowered itself from the sky. Meap climbed out, a solem expression on his face. Slowly, sadly, he walked away from the ship.

And then it exploded.

BOOM!

Phineas, Ferb, and Candace immediately rushed outside, Candace still in her ducky momo pajamas.

"Meap?"

"Meap!"

Phineas and Ferb rushed towards Meap, while Candace stood in the door, confused.

"What are you doing here?"

"Oh, don't be rude, Candace. Meap's always welcome."

"But he never comes without reason, Phineas. When Meap's here, either something's happened, or it's going to."

"Meap." With that, Meap fainted. Phineas caught him, and looked to his brother.

"Ferb, you studied Xenobiology, right?" Ferb nodded, and Phineas handed Meap over to his brother. "Take him to the SHED and check his vitals. I'll go get the gang. Candace, go get dressed. I have a feeling that it's gonna be a long day."

"Eye eye, Captain. Oh, and Phineas?"

"Yeah, Candace?"

Candace laid a hand on her younger brother's shoulder. "Don't do anything too crazy without me."

Phineas smirked. "I'll try."

...

"…Alright, Meap, we've you hooked up to an improved version of our old universal translator. It was made for animals, but it should work just fine for alien lifeforms as well. Ferb, how's he doing?" Ferb gave a thumbs-up. "Ferb says you're healthy enough to speak. So, what's up? We heard an explosion, and then you fainted."

Allow me to paint a picture for you. All the kids, plus Candace, in the SHED, Ferb monitoring a bunch of science fiction British technology, the fireside girls all very excited to be earning their very first intergalactic fireside girls patch by helping Ferb with the tech, Isabella was monitoring their work and correcting them from time to time in a true leader-like fashion, Candace was trying her hardest NOT to touch anything, and Buford and Baljeet were watching Meap, who was at the center of it all encased in a clear plastic cylinder Snow White-style. Phineas was speaking into a small microphone near the alien.

A crackle filled the speakers overhead, and Meap’s voice (no accents - it sounds a lot like it does with Mitch’s mustache, only higher-pitched but still definitely masculine and a little husky from exhaustion) filled the room. "Ph - Phineas? Wh… where am I?"

“Oh, I forgot to tell you - you know that workshop/ clubhouse/ safehold thing I was telling you about? Well, this is it. Meap, welcome to the Secret Hideout for Emergency Defence - also known as the SHED. I asked Ferb to bring you here, since this is the only place we can put our inventions without them disappearing and you needed some hi - tech help fast. But that’s not important right now - what’s important is how you got here, and why. What happened?”

“M - my wife... oh, my poor, sweet Jenny...”

“JENNY?!”

“Candace, Meap’s married to a Blorgothian named Kio-Jen-Zia. She’s the daughter of their general Kio-Mog-Hey, and his wife Kio-Man-Zia. You met Kio-Man-Zia, Candace - Meap’s mother-in-law, the ‘hideous monster?’”

“Oh. Sorry, I thought - well, it’s just that one of my friends are named Jenny, and - yeah. Please, continue.”

They all turned to look at Meap, who was... crying. Phineas suddenly got very uncomfortable.

“Um...Meap? Are you... okay?”

“JENNY!!!!!”

“...Okay, he’s not okay.”

“Step aside, dinner bell.” Buford pushed Phineas away from the mic, and he instinctively grabbed Buford’s arm to keep from falling before quickly rightening himself and releasing him.

“Um, Buford, he’s ... he’s kinda unstable right now, so you might not wanna ... I mean, that is to say, I...”

Isabella stepped in. “Phineas. You’re brilliant, and I love you - AS A FRIEND! - and you know more about gadgets and strategies and who knows what else than any of us could ever hope to - but, when it comes to feelings, you’re hopeless. Buford’s had his fair share of love interests, and he’s even dated before - he’s the most qualified out of all of us to console Meap right now.” 

Phineas sighed. “You - you’re right, you’re right. Go ahead, buford, just... be careful, alright?”

Buford gave a grunt and leaned over the mic. “Hey, alien dude - whatever happened to your girlfriend, I don’t think she’d like to see you being a crybaby. You’re a soldier, right? Start acting like it.”

“Wh- wha...?”

Buford’s hands slammed down on the desk, startling Meap and everyone else. Phineas looked like he was about to intervene, but then Isabella grabbed his arm and shook her head. 

“Hey! Tiny! Did ja’ hear me? I said to stop acting like a crybaby and start acting like a soldier! I don’t know what happened to your girlfriend, but I do know that whoever did it’s gonna pay! So stop crying, man up, and tell us what happened so that we can actually DO something about it!”

There was a beat of silence. Then Meap sniffed and wiped his eyes, before glaring at nobody in particular in determination.

“My name isn't Tiny, it’s Meap. And Kio-Jen-Zia is not my girlfriend. She’s my wife. And she was kidnapped.”

Phineas took the mic again. “Who kidnapped her?”

Meap scoffed. “Who else?”

Candace’s eyes narrowed. “Mitch.”


End file.
